Going against the flow

Somedays I wonder why I am in the agricultural industry. The status quo of modern agriculture is 'go big or go home'. Well, I am not big, but I refuse to go home. I feel more like a researcher and student than a producer and advocate. Most of what I do is contradictory to what 'professionals' would say. Yet, somehow I am becoming more efficient and cost effective. Which leads me to think, "Is what the 'professionals' say really correct?"

That time of year...

Well, it is that time of year. My life is slowly starting to slow down and the morning cup of coffee gets filled for a second cup. Yum!! Oh, there are still things to get done outside, but the hard rush is over and the stress level is low.

Broken before Him

Lord, there is nothing else that you can break. I am completely broken before You, what are you trying to teach me?!

A year ago

On April 12, 2010, Barton Farms Inc. pulled the planter to the field and began planting corn. On April 12, 2011, Barton Farms Inc. pulling the planter out of the shed and began getting it ready. What a difference a year makes!! Needless to say, it will be a while before spring field work begins. The planter is ready, the roller is ready, all that is left in the field cultivator. Well, then there are a few bodies that are not necessarily ready to begin the long days. Being that it takes over twenty days to get the crop in the ground, anxiousness is starting to set in. Though, I am ready to hop in the tractor cab and enjoy the ride. Ready to just turn on some country music and enjoy the scenery around me. Bring on the fresh smell of soil!!

Infusion #2 is History

I had my second fusion today and things went very well. Since I dealt with no complications last week, they were able to speed up the infusion process this time. Though I was in there for about 4 hours, the infusion only lasted about 3 hours. A couple days of 'R&R' and I'll be back at it!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers!!

Blessings

Time will Tell

I lay here tonight wondering what tomorrow may bring. Today was a typical day for me after an infusion. I had lots of energy and was busy all day long, that is after little sleep last night. Tomorrow will more than likely be different. From past experiences, the second day after an infusion is the 'crash day'. My body is completely exhausted and is just out of energy. I am hoping that isn't the case this time. I really would like to make it to church in the morning. This minute, I already long to worship with my fellow believers in Christ. Oh, to miss worship tomorrow morning will be hard on me if it has to happen.

Blessings

One down and Three to go

Infusion #1 is in the books. It went very well, thanks be to God! It took about 4.5 hours all together today and dealt with no complications. Thank you for all your prayers! they did not draw blood today and won't until next Friday. So, I will not know a platelet count until then.

Blessings

Infusion #1 today.

Steady

Platelet count came in today at 38,000. Treatments starts Friday at 10:30am.

God is in control.

Blessings

The Long Road Ahead

I have noticed that I am blogging more lately than I usually do. I think that it is due to the fact that I am tired more often now and am not outside as much. I have no clue if anyone reads these ramblings from me, but maybe I just need to ramble.

Feb 4 has been on my mind a lot today. Physically I am ready to go through another series of treatments; mentally I am not. I really just don't know what to think. Is treatment really what I am supposed to be doing? Or do I greatly risk infection and get my spleen taken out? Though I do not feel that I can risk infection without a spleen. So, treatment it is.

The journey of life continues on...

Blessings

Keep on Keeping on

Found out today that I will begin treatment February 4. I will go through the same treatment procedures as last time; a series of four treatments of Rituximab over four weeks.

God continues to work through this situation. Though our human minds may not be able to see, we have to have faith in the One who does know what is going on.

"For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8:24b-25

Blessings

Pushing forward

Platelet count is down to 36,000 today. Lord, let thine will be done.

Blessings

The Lost Art

Initially I was going to post this evening ranting and raving out of anger. I decided that wasn't a good idea. So, I made myself sit for a few minutes and really think about why I was full of anger and decided that I could post the same idea and concept in a more compelling and compassionate attitude.

This past week I heard a sermon by Alistair Begg, a man which I have great respect for. The sermon was entitled, "The Biblical Role of Women" based on Titus 2:4-8. (http://www.truthforlife.org/player/sermon/the-biblical-role-of-women/listen/) After hearing the message, my heart became heavy. My mind began to think of the young women in my life. After thinking for awhile, I came to realize that there is not one female friend of mine that has ever expressed the desire to care for a home and raise a family. Rather, they want the degree and be in the workforce. But is the workforce the place God created women to be? I don't think so. In my opinion, the art of a woman being a homemaker is a lost art. So, lost that many young women do not even think about the idea of staying home and raising children.

Yet, this also leads to the wondering where are all of the Godly men today? A Godly woman cannot raise a family without a Godly man to help her. There are many times I feel alone. There are not many men my age that are pursuing a relationship with Christ. I mean daily striving for a deeper understanding of their Creator, not just attending church on a Sunday morning. As men we have a huge responsibility for a family, regardless of what society says. We are to unconditionally love the woman that God brings into you lives for LIFE, not just until we feel like we don't have to any more. There are Biblical grounds for divorce, so it is not an option.

As I continually wait for God to lead me to my wife, I do wonder if I will find one; granted it will happen according to the will of Christ. But really. I desire a wife, a partner for life. Well, that is what marriage is anyway, a life long partnership; two becoming one in Christ. Yet, if the Lord blesses my wife and I with children, we parents are to be raising the children, not having someone else raise them for us. After all, isn't that why the term 'parent' is used? Parents are supposed to raise their children. God didn't create parents to have kids, have a day care raise them, then send them off to a public school to continue to teach them, then send them off to college hoping that their children figure out what they want to do in life. Absurd!!! Mothers are to raise their children early in life. Well, since public school is degrading, homeschooling should be heavy looked at by Christian parents today. The calling of Christ for parents is to train a child in the way he should go. There is not exception to that and never will be.

Maybe God is calling me to a life of singleness. So be it if it is His will for my life.

Blessings

Yesterday, my count dropped to 43,000.

Pushing forward

Last week Monday, I had my blood tested and my platelet count was at 39,000; dropping from 107,000 from the month prior. Went back in to meet with my oncologist the next Tuesday. My count had come back up to 49,000. In the grand scheme of things, that isn't much improvement; BUT it didn't drop any lower. Praise God! My oncologist said that I will have to go through treatment again, but he wants to monitor me for a few weeks before doing anything. So, I am back to weekly blood tests. The oncologist and I also talked about different options that I have in regards to my condition. Like the previous oncologist, this one wants to take out my spleen as well. I will not let that happen. If I don't take out my spleen, I live with a high risk of bleeding in my head; that could possibly lead to death. If I take my spleen out, I greatly hinder the function on my immune system, and open my body up to numerous infections, diseases, and viruses. Though I am in a no win situation, I am in the hands of Christ through it all.

Living with the Life of Christ

It it usually until something happens, that one realizes how little control the human has in their life. ITP has once again become a struggle in my life. I have no control over my life; I nestle in the hands of my Creator and have peace. Every day is considered a blessing for the gift of life. There isn't much else to say today, I'm just living the blessing of life from day to day.

Blessings