For many, including myself, singleness is accompanied with words such as: lonely, boring, unwanted, etc. The word singleness has almost become a label for a group of people that seem to put other aspects of life before the thought of marriage and family. Society has become about individualism and selfishness, which has lead greater amount of single people rather than marriage and family. But what about those who did intend for singleness, who have wanted anything but singleness in life?
Personally, I was ready to settle down right out of college and begin an amazing life with the woman of my dreams. Lo and behold, here I sit in my parents living room in my late 20's still figuring out singleness and what I am supposed to do with it and about it. It's been a struggle watching all my close friends get married and now starting families. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY happy for them as I have been apart of many of their weddings, but can't deny the fact that I have to push my struggle with singleness deeper and cover it up with a smile.
Flip the coin.
What if singleness isn't a curse, but a blessing. Push aside the lonely, selfishness, woe is me attitude. Get out of the self centeredness box and look at what you can do with your singleness. I have recently stepped out of my box and was quite surprised on what I saw.
One of the biggest aspects that I have observed about singleness is that we need to use this time to serve, not be served. A favorite quote of mine is from Josh McDonald, "A man's main goal in life is ministry, but his first ministry in his family." Well, with no family of my own yet, I still have the God given responsibility of ministry. Go, do, serve those around you. You never know what you may accomplish in the process.
Another aspect is the availability you have for service. You hear of a need for help and you can just go and do, not worrying about taking time away from your family. This happened in my life a few months ago. I saw a need, I became available, and I serve. I didn't have to worry about not being there spending time with a wife and kids, or not being able to serve because I needed to spend time with them. Singleness allows a person to go look for areas of service and get involved. Don't sit back and wait for the opportunities to come to you. Go find them and get involved.
Dive into who God is calling you to be as an individual. What is He calling you to do? Who is He calling you to be? Where is He wanting you to go? How is He calling you to serve Him? In the state of singleness, you are better to understand who God is calling you to be as a person. If/when the time comes, He will show you how He calls you to be a spouse and parent. But right now, you can be selfish and burn with desire to want to know who you are as a single person in Christ.
Finding a passion is an aspect of singleness that many people over look. Because of their dismal outlook on life, they tend to miss out on finding what they really enjoy about life. Find something that you enjoy and get involved. Never stop learning, never stop doing.
Which side of the coin are you on? Which do you want to be on? This could be one the the best, brightest times in your life. But you're missing out because you are looking in at yourself and not out into the world.
Go. Do. Be a witness of the gospel where ever you can.
